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This Week in Dating (50) – No Santa Baby, please!

It´s nearly impossible to explain why the Santa Clause is not the German Nikolaus, although they are some person – anyway – before they Christmas invasion of all those Clauses, Reindeers, Elks, Angels and Midgets we found the biggest problem in Christmas is, that everyone needs to sing “Santa Baby“ – especially women in their underwear. So from today on, you will here a new and (moist of them) ugly version of “Santa Baby“ every day.

We began the week with St. Nicolas himself – writing a satire about this ugly person and his role in science. Didn´t you know we are all Nicolasionists? No – we did not know either. I just wondered what sociologist do – at your New Mexico Sate University, fellow North Americans, as one of your guys claimed that the worst men get the best girls – or something like that.

Back to Christmas? Well, it seems Christmas is not what singles really like, although we heard that they would rather go to church than to a public dance – which might have one good reason: there is no public dancing on Christmas eve – so why should they go there? So you can go to Church and enjoy the singing of the congregation – sound like most of the Youtube “Santa Baby“ songs – only that there is only one person who cannot sing – and in your congregation, there might be hundreds.

So what can you do? Wait, most probably. Because there are few days we took over from the dark age of pagans, who really know how to celebrate the old Christmas, I mean the Whatvever-Mas that exists before Christmas, except for the roman-catholic church. Here, folks from Norway, Island, Sweden, Finland and Denmark : Jul does not exist. Write it down 100 times, please: Jul does not exist – it´s spelled C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s according to our roman-catholic inspired German Wikipedia. Anyway, back to the pagans: Your lucky days are the “Holy Night“ (except that we don´t know why), midwinter (the returning of the light) New Years Eve (it is not only caused by to much Champaign) and the night between the 5th and 6th of January. So they say.

Is there anything I can do for you to promote your website or whatever? I will do it – for free – my Christmas gift to you.

As far as I know, there is someone who calls herself a Singer, and she goes by the name of Taylor Swift. Now why do I mention her? Because she is an experienced dating expert – turning 19 in those days – and listen, folks: Most of her life, she has been single.

So what´s new in the United Kingdom? Well, you can order a toyboy there – not by mail-order, but by something similar – a dating service. A life love toy – how wonderful, ladies – and you can throw it away, whenever the piles run out or what else might happen.

So – keep on having fun – and find someone for the long, lonely nights before Christmas – and I swear to bring you a Santa Baby every day.

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